She sees him everyday. Sitting just beside him at the office. She fell in love at first sight. But things are not as easy in real life. She loves to see him working very attentively, talking to his clients very confidently, and started admiring him and went back telling her family there's this cute guy at the office. Slowly, she asked people about him. And also overheard him talking about letting go of his previous relationship. Somehow she thought he must have been a person who is with unreasoning passion to let him go through it so hard.
"Hmm..so he's single now." That's what she thought. But that's all she thought because she still have a relationship to settle herself. He never realize her existence. Maybe he did. But he would never knew how she felt about him. Even being alone with him in the lift made her heartbeat go so fast.
Slowly, she heard bad things about him. N started hated him for no reason. But a small part of her wished she could know him more. She didn't talk to him after hearing all the stories. Even if both of them were to use the photostat machine together, she would stand far far away to let him finish using it first. I guess it was the shyness. But she felt happy to be near him. Even not talking.
One happy day, she realise that someone added her in MSN. His name appeared. She was delighted. She never had the courage to ask him for his MSN account. But she added her. Hah! Fate. They started chatting. And felt really comfortable with each other. Sharing their thoughts to each other, the feeling was magical. She fell into it. But he didn't knew yet. He thought she treated him as a friend. She knew he didn't want to get into a relationship, so she kept her feelings to herself.
They both found out they stayed near each other. So she suggested to go out. He accepted and they went for lunch and movie alone. She fell into it even more. She wanted to hold his hand while they were walking around. She wanted to lie on his shoulders during the movie. She really fell in love with him. And she decided she need to settle her relationship. She need to choose. A guy who loves her more than anything in the world, and a guy who doesn't even know how she feels.
So she chose him. The new guy. That she fell in love the 1st time she saw him. She confessed her feelings to him, and he told her that he has feelings for her too. But all this is going too fast for him to decide whether to pick her. She didn't want to rush him either. They just gotten close to each other. They continued chatting with each other everyday. And he was confused on whether he love her or not. He fetched her to work. And she couldn't resist it anymore. She will fight for love. She hold his hand. And he didn't reject. He wanted her too. And he kissed her on the cheek, a kiss she will never forget. But it was a confusing kiss, is she he's?
They wanted to spend every moment together even though things weren't sure yet. He asked her for a movie at nite. A movie he have watched before. But he don't care. He just want to be with her. They went out. Hold hands, hug each other, like real couples. And that night, he kissed her. The kiss that made her cry because he still does not belong to her.
The next day, he decided. He wants her. She was joyful. Happy to have him at last. It was an underground relationship. Nobody knew. But they were happy together that way. But somehow, she felt insecure. So he told the whole world he had her. They were such a loving couple. Everybody saw that they were such a fine couple. That suit each other so much. They could never be separated. She love him. And he loves her too.
He gave her flowers on the first month together. Pink roses. Her favourite colour. She have never received flowers for such a long time. It was a romantic surprise. That made her love him even more. Everyone could see how happy both this people are together. She has "happiness" written on her face. He too feels happy with her. Until their first arguement. he thinks that she is so childish to lose temper on such matter. That made him feel confused with the relationship. He told her he has doubts on his love. Maybe he doesn't love her as much anymore. She cried. And promised to change. But things didn't get better. More arguements occured.
He wanted to leave her. Because of the character. Because of the attitude. But he still loves her. She tried hard to hold him back and finally convinced him that things will change. He wants her back. Because he still loves her. And she loves him too. The got back together, and things were a bit better. Until one day he told her, that he don love her anymore. She stayed calm. Trying to figure out the problem. He was surprised that she would be so calm. But he never realize she is a different person now. She wants him to love her. She would do anything to make him happy and love her again. But what can she do? She decided on the one month period. Letting him go after one month. He accepted. She was extremely hurt.
She found out the reason on why he does not love her anymore. So she tried to solve it. Gladly, she managed to solve it, and he told her he was relieved that he didn't need to let her go. Because he will regret doing a silly thing. She hug him and cried listening to him promising that he will be the best boyfriend ever. She believed him. She believed him so much.
Things got better. She feels precious all over again. And he loves her. That's the most important thing. He loves her more than before. Treat her better than before. Everything was magical again. Everything was sweet again. They went on their 1st trip together. But somehow, the feeling was wierd. He didn't seem to be loving to her anymore. But she told herself that things are OK.
He got sick after coming back from the trip. She was worried. SO worried. She wants to take care of him so much. Being beside him and responding to his every needs. He was getting serious. And she was there with him everyday. She didn't mind taking care of him. Because she thought it was her responsibility. She felt stressful that he didn't get well. She feels that she did not take care of him enough.
He was still treating her coldly. But she continue giving him all her love. Without thinking of what she will get from him. She just want to love him. She thought he was emotionally unstable because of being unhealthy. But the problem was larger than this. He didn't love her as much anymore. He broke his promise of being the best boyfriend. He broke his promise when she believed him so much. She told herself that she will not believe in promises anymore. He wasn't happy with her anymore. And he feels that everything she does makes him pressured. But all she want is something so simple. Being with him and just make him happy. She made the decision by herself. She wanted to let him free. He will be happier. She felt so heartbroken. She said she wouldn't give up on him, on this relationship. But he indirectly forced her to make this decision. She feel weak now. Mentally exhausted. Thinking of him a lot.
She wants him back. But he thinks this is best for both of them. What choice has she got. She choose to suffer. And let him be happy.
She don't know how to go through it again. It's too painful for her.
***Edited***
She stayed in her room. Listening to sad sad songs. Holding back every tear she got. Was this what she really want? Letting everything end? She hasn't been eating well and had gastric pain. She told him. And he appeared to gave her medicine. He went to the clinic to get it for her. She looked at him. Confused with what he feels for her. Why would he do this if he didn't loved her? He said he just cared for a friend. She didn't feel like accepting what he said.
She felt sweet but sad looking at the medicine he got for her. She loves him so much. But why does she get all this suffering? It was the first time she controlled her emotions. She didn't want him to worry bout her after he leaves her. She didn't cry and she was strong.
She tossed and turned the whole nite. Couldn't fall asleep. She wished he love her. She wished he love her as much as she loves him. She read throught all the SMS they both sent each other when they were loving each other so much. She couldn't believe that he didn't have feelings for her anymore. She started being emotional and irrational, forwarding all those sweet loving SMS that he has sent her before. Knowing very well that it will irritate him, she didn't stop. She wanted him to see everything he sent her. She wanted him to know that he has loved her so much. She didn't want him to forget all their sweet memories.
She couldn't hold back her emotions anymore. Sent him an SMS. Wanted him to reconsider of the relationship. Would he? If he has feelings, she know he would.
She didn't dare to send him any messages in the morning. She didn't want to disturb him. She was sad sitting in front of her computer. She was so used to it. Accompanying him from 9am - 6pm. She didn't mind whether he chat with her always, but she js want to be there when he needs someone to chat with. And she has always been there. But that morning, she was sad. She didn't know why she was waiting to chat with him. He is not hers anymore. She cried. Finally cried. She felt miserable.
They discussed about the problems. Everything that have affected them, affected him. She wants him back. She didn't want them both to regret giving up on this relationship that could be so wonderful. She didn't want him to let her go. She knew he love her. But he wanted her to convince him of his feelings. She felt so helpless, but she wants him back so desperately.
Finally, things were solved. He decided on what he should do, what he will contribute for this relationship. And he wanted her back. He wanted to show her how much he could love her, how much he could care for her, how much he will do for her. He didn't want to avoid those feelings anymore. He wants to be with her. Be happy with her. She was happy. Very happy. She got him back. And things were so much greater. Things were so much sweeter.
He told her he love her. And she felt it. He loves her......and she loves him.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
A Love Story (edited)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, January 19, 2009
My 1st trip wit dearie
N also with friends. Double date. keke.
The trip was planned long long time ago. I think since July. I forgotten.
It was so super hard to wait sooooo long for the trip. Come on...6 months! 劲都长了！
**12th January 2009
Audrey & David
Our boarding passes
Our 1st trip
Loving the sky
@ Langkawi
Dearie wit the sea
Loving the sea
型男型女..haha!
Kim enjoying the wonderful view
Best friends =)
Ma fell in love with the fish that won't move. keke.
The picture that i said was dear don1 to choi me. hehe..(My dear alwiz choi me de lo~)
See! I told you he will choi me~
The couples~
Loving the starfish~ pretty ei?
The only thing nice in the 3D theatre is this picture.
Our tour in there took about 2 hours and we went to Kuah Town after that for some shopping. Chocolates!! I didn't buy much on the 1st day there. Coz i tot mayb i should buy it before going back to KL. After dinner we went back to the hotel to rest as we were kinda exhausted coz of the early travelling.
**13th January 2009
We woke up quite early de next day for our buffet breakfast and then we're off to the Cable car. It was pretty windy that day and from far away we saw that the cable car wasn't moving.
It was kinda bad luck day for us. Cable car wasn't operating. There were notice that say that the weather condition is too windy. How sad. We still took a few pictures before leaving.
D&A
=)
型男型女 again~ =P
ME~
Saw this huge lollipop..
I'm the king of the world~ Nono...you're the king of Audrey's heart =P
My exhausted dearie after being so hyper~
The wonderful guys..what do we do without them???
After changing the tyre, and visiting the black sand beach, we drove on to the Gallery Perdana. Mahathir's Gallery. Din take pictures there. =P After visiting there it was about 4. So we decided to drive back to the cable car to try our luck again.
N finally..we manage to get up to Mount MatCincang. After 2 times going back there. But still, it was kinda windy. The cable car was shaking left and right. I keep hugging my dearie lo..i'm so scared. It was a bit hazy but still very nice up there. I finally manage to finish walking the hanging bridge wit my dearie. =)
Met Mark & Michelle thr~
It was about 6pm when we finish visiting that place. And we headed back to the hotel for swimming. I finally have courage to put on my bikini. kakaka. But sorry, no pictures. Went for dinner nearby..opposite Holiday Inn resort. And had beer. Super cheap. Super super cheap. But i'm not that into Beer..so i din even finish.
Tiring tiring day..Slept super early.
**14th January 2009
Our final day, we woke up a bit later coz we have visited all the places we wanted to visit. Which only left us with Pantai Cenang. And also some last minute shopping. I love the beach!
I love the beach. I love you!
Couples~ What with Ma's Face?
Dearie took this~ Peace!
So, when's our next trip huh? keke..=)
P.S. - Miss being wit you always baby. Another 2 weeks til i'm far far away from you. =(
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